Self-love — it’s a concept that can spark both agreement and contention.

In a world filled with diverse perspectives, opinions on self-love vary widely.

Some see it as essential for success, while others view it as selfishness in disguise.

Yet, amidst the differing viewpoints lies a universal truth: self-love is a personal journey.

Unique to each individual.

Understanding the Roots

My journey with self-love began against a backdrop of silence and suppression.

Raised in an era where children were seen and not heard, I internalized the belief that my thoughts and feelings didn’t matter.

This belief only deepened during my tumultuous 22-year marriage, where expressing myself led to chaos and rejection.

The impact on my self-esteem was profound.

Constant correction and rejection left me feeling unworthy and insignificant.

It’s a familiar tale for many — the erosion of self-worth through a lifetime of unspoken words and stifled emotions.

The Journey of Self-Discovery

Yet, amid the darkness, I found a glimmer of hope — a path to self-awareness.

I realized that delving into the origins of my thoughts and emotions was essential for regaining my sense of identity.

This journey of self-discovery was not easy.

It required courage to confront suppressed feelings and unspoken thoughts buried within me.

Incorporating practical tips from my experience, I discovered that journaling, self-reflection, and seeking truth were invaluable tools for gaining clarity and insight into my innermost thoughts and emotions.

The Importance of Honesty

Learning to be brutally honest with myself was crucial in this journey.

It meant confronting uncomfortable truths and dismantling the false narratives that had defined me for so long.

It meant acknowledging my vulnerabilities and insecurities without judgment or shame.

Through this process, I discovered the importance of embracing my imperfections and recognizing that they are essential to my identity.

It guided me to a deeper level of authenticity.

I am no longer afraid to be vulnerable about my shortcomings and successes.

Both are equally important in knowing and accepting who I am.

Embracing Authenticity

Self-love, to me, is an ongoing process of self-discovery and acceptance.

It’s about recognizing the beauty in our imperfections and embracing our true selves, flaws and all.

It’s about setting boundaries and honouring our needs without guilt or shame.

Along the way, I discovered the importance of authenticity — of being true to myself and living in alignment with my values and beliefs.

Skills that Helped Me Grow

Throughout my self-love journey, I cultivated various skills that helped me navigate the challenges and setbacks.

One of the most important skills I learned was emotional resilience.

It involved developing the ability to bounce back from adversity and maintain a positive outlook, even when facing obstacles.

Another crucial skill was self-compassion.

I learned to treat myself with kindness and understanding, especially during my struggles or self-doubt.

Instead of belittling myself for my perceived shortcomings, I practised self-compassion and reminded myself that I was worthy of love and acceptance, just as I am.

Additionally, I honed my communication skills, both with myself and others.

I learned to express my thoughts and feelings openly and honestly, without fear of judgment or rejection.

It allowed me to cultivate deeper connections with those around me and fostered a greater sense of authenticity and self-acceptance.

Transformation and Freedom

This journey of self-love has transformed my life in profound ways.

It even led me to write a book about the freedom we can find in knowing and understanding ourselves.

It has liberated me from the shackles of self-doubt and insecurity, allowing me to embrace my authenticity fully.

Today, I stand tall in my truth, guided by the unwavering belief that self-love is the foundation of personal freedom.

Final Word

Self-love is not a destination but a journey of self-discovery, acceptance, and unconditional love.

It’s a journey worth embarking on, for it leads to the greatest freedom of all — the freedom to be true to ourselves — unapologetically.

In this month, where we celebrate love, I urge you to go on this transformative journey of growing in self-love.

After all, the most important relationship we will ever have is with ourselves.

And loving ourselves is crucial to this.

With love,

Belinda Basson — ReDefine Relationship Coach

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