My Journey to Building A Healthy Self-Esteem

Today, I want to share my personal experience. It might resonate with some of you who have faced the same struggles.

My past marriage was a roller coaster of emotions, taking a heavy toll on my self-confidence.

I was no longer the strong and vibrant person I used to be and felt like a shadow of my former self.

Something as simple as expressing my preferences or desires became a source of fear and anxiety.

The constant worry of being judged and rejected haunted me, and I believed my voice did not matter anymore.

After my divorce, I lost all hope, especially of having a bright and happy future.

Thankfully, I was not alone.

Supportive friends and family kept reminding me of the person I was.

They encouraged me to embark on a path of healing and self-discovery to a point where I refused to let my past define me.

I went on a journey to know and understand myself, my real self and not the person defined by my pain and hurt.

As I embarked on this journey, I discovered the negative beliefs that had taken root in my mind.

Time in again, I had to make a conscious decision to let go of those damaging thoughts and reclaim my self-worth.

Yet, that was just the beginning of my profound transformation.

It was a tough process, but I started healing from all the underlying lies formed during my failed marriage.

Instead of allowing the pain from the past to consume me, I chose to rebuild a healthier and more empowering view of myself.

One of the most powerful tools I found was the practice of I Am-Statements.

Every day, I would affirm who I truly am, regardless of external circumstances or negative thoughts.

It became a dialogue with my inner self, nurturing a strong and unshakeable foundation of self-esteem.

Here are some of my I Am Statements:

• I am Belinda Pieterse, a unique individual with a distinct purpose.
• I am passionate about people and desire to impact their lives.
• I find strength in sharing my life experiences, empowering others through vulnerability and empathy.
• I have the courage and resilience to overcome challenges and grow through adversity.
• My faith is the guiding light that helps me navigate life’s journey with unwavering hope and trust.
• I cherish the joy of quality time spent with loved ones, nurturing profound and meaningful connections.
• Although I struggle with weight and setting boundaries, I am committed to growth and progress.

I want you to know that this journey is not about becoming someone you are not.

It is about uncovering the incredible person you already are.

As I practised these I Am-Statements, I re-discovered the unique qualities that make me who I am.

I used guidelines such as:

• My roles and responsibilities
• The desires burning in my heart
• What other people said about me
• My circumstances and how I overcame
• My experience
• My achievements and
• Anything else that was uplifting

It was like reconnecting with my true self, and it felt amazing.

And you know what?

I realised that I did not have to stop there.

Inspired by role models and people I admired, I began embracing the concept of I Am Becoming Statements.

It meant cultivating qualities within myself that contributed to their success and happiness.

It was not about changing who I was, but rather, it was about becoming the best version of myself.

I focused on being intentional with my time and energy, setting and enforcing boundaries, and cultivating discipline to stay on track.

Of course, the journey is not without its challenges.

There are ups and downs, moments of doubt, and setbacks.

Somedays, I succeed. On other days, I need to catch up.

But I learned to celebrate every little victory and to be compassionate with myself during the tough times.

The key is to keep going in the right direction and not give up.

And let me tell you, this path of healing and growth is not a linear journey.

This amazing journey is full of life-long progress, self-discovery, and empowerment.

So, my friend, as you walk this transformative path, know you have the strength within you to overcome any obstacles.

You are not your past pain, hurt or even mistakes.

You are certainly not defined by the hurtful words of others.

You have incredible worth and value just waiting to be acknowledged and celebrated, especially by you.

Embrace your uniqueness and believe in your potential.

With each step, you’ll build a healthier self-esteem that will guide you to a life of purpose and fulfilment.

Keep going, keep growing, and know that you are not alone.

Together, we will rise above the shadows of our past and embrace a life of confidence and self-love.

Talk again soon,

Belinda Pieterse — ReDefine Relationship Coach

P.S. If my story has touched your heart, please share it with others who might need a reminder that they can also find healing and build a healthy self-view. Let’s spread hope and encouragement wherever we go!