We all carry labels. Some are placed on us by others, and some we’ve adopted ourselves. But how often do we stop to ask, “Do these labels truly reflect who I am?”

Labels can seem harmless, but they are often more restrictive than we realize.

It’s not just the obvious ones like “career-driven,” “mother,” or “single.”

The more subtle yet equally confining labels are the ones like “the reliable one,” “the fixer,” or “the emotional one.”

These labels sneak up on us and quietly become an unspoken part of our identity.

Soon, we start shaping our actions, behaviours, and decisions around these labels without realizing it.

Take, for example, the label of “being a mother.”

Society often portrays motherhood as an all-encompassing role, implying that your life should revolve around your children and that your dreams and desires must take a back seat.

Over time, you start to believe this narrative.

Slowly, you lose sight of the person you were before motherhood consumed your identity.

The frustration builds, and you feel trapped, but you can’t quite figure out why.

The reason is simple: You no longer recognize yourself outside of the label of “mom.”

Even though motherhood is a beautiful, meaningful label, it can still limit you if it becomes all-encompassing.

The media often reinforces this narrative, portraying the ideal “selfless mother” as someone who sacrifices everything for her children.

While well-meaning, this portrayal can make you feel as though your desires or dreams are selfish, leading to guilt and confusion when you want something more.

The psychological effects of labels can be profound.

We internalize these roles, allowing them to dictate how we interact with the world.

Every time we try to step outside these expectations, it feels like we’re betraying not just others but the version of ourselves that has been constructed for us.

Over time, these labels stifle our growth, leading to internal conflict and preventing us from fully exploring who we are.

A Personal Experience: The Danger of Misused Labels

For many years, I carried two labels that nearly destroyed my life and the lives of my children: loyalty and responsibility.

While these qualities are an important part of who I am, the perceptions and expectations others placed on me because of them kept me trapped in an abusive relationship for 22 years.

My loyalty was used as a manipulative tool, making me feel guilty every time I thought about leaving the marriage.

I convinced myself that being loyal meant staying, even though it subjected both me and my children to unnecessary trauma, pain, and disappointment.

It wasn’t until much later that I realized their version of loyalty was rooted in personal gain, not in family unity.

The same went for responsibility.

People often expected me to have all the answers, make plans, and take on responsibility for every situation.

I took this burden so seriously that it led to emotional burnout and internal frustration.

Eventually, I understood that I needed to be loyal to myself too and take responsibility for my own well-being, not just for those around me.

This shift was liberating — it allowed me to reclaim my life and step out of the labels that had confined me for so long, without denying that they were still a part of who I am.

How Labels Are Formed

But where do these labels come from?

They are shaped by the roles we play in life, how others perceive us, and the expectations placed on us by society, family, and the media.

For instance, you may have been labelled as “the caretaker” in your family or “the dependable one” at work.

Over time, these labels stick, and you begin to identify with them, whether they truly reflect who you are or not.

Even labels that aren’t overtly negative can box you in.

You might be seen as “the emotional one,” and soon, you feel as though you must always be the one to express sensitivity or compassion, even when that doesn’t align with how you feel at that moment.

The media and culture we consume also reinforce certain labels — promoting ideals of success, beauty, or behaviour that we unconsciously try to fit into.

From how we should look to what success means, these external standards can subtly influence our decisions and our sense of self-worth.

When we don’t stop to reflect on these labels, we can lose sight of our authentic selves.

The Role of Expectations in Shaping Perception

We often underestimate how deeply cultural and societal expectations shape how we see ourselves.

These expectations are so ingrained in us that we rarely stop to question them.

We feel pressed to meet them because they have become part of the unspoken “rules” of who we should be.

Ask yourself: Why do I feel obligated to meet these expectations? Where did these ideas come from? And, more importantly, do they align with who I truly want to be?

Society’s expectations can be so subtle and pervasive that they shape our decisions without us noticing.

From media portrayals to family pressures, we absorb ideas of success, beauty, and worth without questioning whether they truly resonate with us.

When we challenge these expectations, we open ourselves up to the possibility of living more authentically.

Challenge the Idea of Fixed Identities

Here’s the truth: identity is fluid — not fixed.

You are not the same person today that you were five years ago, and that’s a good thing.

We evolve, adapt, and change, and how we view ourselves should evolve too.

Think about the labels you’ve carried throughout your life. Have they been handed to you by someone else, or have you embraced them yourself?

For example, the media often portrays people struggling with weight as lacking willpower or discipline.

As a result, if you’ve struggled with your weight, you may have been labelled as “undisciplined” or “obese.”

Over time, you start to believe these labels, even though they don’t define who you are.

But this narrative misses the complexity of health, and by internalizing it, we can hold ourselves back from the changes we want to make.

But here’s the empowering part — you can change this.

If you want to adopt a healthier lifestyle, start by shifting how you see yourself.

Instead of focusing on labels that no longer serve you, begin to see yourself as someone who values health and well-being.

When you ReDefine your identity in alignment with your values, your actions will naturally follow, making the change feel more achievable.

I want to challenge you to try a simple exercise: Grab a piece of paper and write down all the labels you currently identify with.

Don’t hold back — include everything, from the obvious to the subtle. Now, cross out the labels that no longer serve you. How does it feel to let them go?

This small act can be the first step toward reclaiming your narrative.

Moving Forward Without Labels

True freedom comes when you define yourself by your inner values, beliefs, and passions rather than by external validation or roles.

Imagine letting go of labels as if you’re removing a mask you’ve worn for years.

The first moments might feel uncomfortable, but as the mask slips away, you begin to breathe more easily and see yourself more clearly.

With every step, you feel a little lighter, more free, more you.

The feeling of breaking free from that mould is liberating.

It’s all about authenticity — living in a way that aligns with your true self, not the version others have decided for you.

As you embrace your authentic self, you’ll experience a deeper sense of fulfilment and more genuine connections with others.

A Challenge for You

For one week, I challenge you to stop referring to yourself or others using traditional labels (e.g., “I’m a mother,” “She’s a teacher”).

Instead, focus on recognizing and describing the unique qualities and passions that truly define who you are.

At the end of the week, ask yourself: How has this changed my view of who I am? Do I feel freer to express myself beyond the labels I’ve carried?

This exercise isn’t just about avoiding labels — it’s about rediscovering the parts of yourself that labels may have hidden.

As you step away from these confining identities, you’ll start to see the beauty of your individuality, separate from roles or expectations.

Final Thought

ReDefining yourself is not just about removing the labels — it’s about rediscovering the real you, the one that has always been there, waiting to be seen.

Imagine the freedom of living life as your authentic self, not confined by the expectations of others but guided by your own passions and values.

This is the life that’s waiting for you, the life that reflects the true beauty of your individuality.

Together, we can break free from the labels holding us back and create a life that reflects who we are, not who we’re expected to be.

This journey of self-awareness, freedom, and authenticity is one we can walk together.

Let today be the day you start ReDefining yourself. The day you step into your true identity, unburdened by the labels of the past.

Let’s embrace this journey together — one step at a time.

Talk again soon,

Belinda Basson — ReDefine

P.S. If this resonated with you, I invite you to sign up for my newsletter, where we dive deeper into topics like this. Don’t let the world define you — let’s ReDefine together.