How To Deal With Our Negative Beliefs

All of us see and experience the world differently. We are unique to the core of our being.

Some people see the stars are the most beautiful phenomenon, while others see it as scary and a sign of danger.

The reason for these contradicting views is the painful experiences from our past that have left us scarred and burdened.

These painful encounters often shape our beliefs, leading to negative perceptions that can hinder our personal growth and relationships.

The question is, how do we deal with those harmful beliefs and perceptions?

But before we answer this question, let’s first look at the brain function behind our perceptions.

All our experiences enter our consciousness through our five senses — hearing, sight, taste, touch and smell.

It’s like a floodgate of information pouring into your brain, and you might think you’re perceiving everything precisely as it is.

But here’s the thing: your brain is not a passive bystander in this process.

It’s an active participant, acting as a filter, interpreter, and meaning-maker.

As the information from your senses arrives in your brain, it undergoes a complex process of interpretation.

Your brain takes in the raw data and starts making sense of it, attaching meaning to it based on your past experiences, biases, and beliefs.

It’s like an enormous puzzle where your brain tries to fit the incoming information into its pre-existing framework.

Let’s break it down further and say your previous relationships involved betrayal and dishonesty.

As a result, your brain has learned to associate trust with pain.

When you meet someone new, your brain might interpret innocent actions or words as potential signs of betrayal, even when they may have no ill intentions.

This filtering process occurs automatically, influenced by the pain you’ve experienced in the past.

Each encounter with pain becomes etched in your memory, influencing how you perceive and approach future relationships.

All these factors come together to form the basis for our beliefs.

As your brain assigns meaning and value to the information it receives, it gradually builds a framework that guides your thoughts, opinions, and actions.

These beliefs can range from simple preferences to deeply ingrained ideologies.

It’s important to note that this process is not fixed or immutable.

Our brains constantly evolve, and our beliefs can change over time as we gain new experiences, challenge our biases, and let go of negative assumptions.

But understanding that our brains are active filters and interpreters of reality can help us recognise limitations and potential distortions in our perceptions, allowing us to approach new information with a critical and open mindset.

In overcoming past pain, a crucial step is identifying and understanding those negative beliefs holding you back.

Here are some practical steps to guide you through this process:

Tune into triggering events.

Become aware of situations or events that stir up strong emotions within you. These triggers often offer clues about underlying beliefs shaped by past experiences. It could be a comment from a friend, a particular social situation, or even a specific type of interaction. By becoming aware of these triggers, you can begin exploring the beliefs associated with them.

Observe your accompanying emotions.

Take a moment to reflect on the emotions that arise when you encounter these triggering events. Do these emotions seem disproportionate or unusually intense? Negative beliefs often manifest as exaggerated emotional reactions beyond what the situation warrants. For instance, if a simple disagreement with a loved one triggers intense fear or anger, it may indicate an underlying belief rooted in past pain.

Embrace the power of journaling.

Keeping a journal can be a potent tool for unearthing negative beliefs. Take the time to write down your thoughts and feelings surrounding the triggering events. Explore the emotions, fears, and doubts that surface. Journaling provides a safe space for self-reflection, allowing you to gain insights into your inner world. Over time, you may notice patterns and recurring themes emerging, shedding light on the negative beliefs that influence your life.

Review and reflect

Regularly revisit your journal entries to identify recurring perceptions. Look for common threads, thoughts, and themes that crop up consistently in your writing. These patterns often indicate deeply ingrained negative beliefs. By acknowledging them, you can begin to detach yourself from their influence and take proactive steps towards creating positive change.

Once you have identified negative beliefs, it’s time to take courageous steps toward healing and transformation.

Here is a four-step process to guide you in dealing with harmful beliefs:

Step 1 — Acknowledge your beliefs.

Recognise their presence and the impact they have on your life. By acknowledging these beliefs, you take the first step toward reclaiming your power and creating positive change.

Step 2 — Assess their hindrance.

Reflect on how these negative beliefs hinder your personal growth and relationships. Understand that they are holding you back from experiencing the happiness you desire. Consider how these beliefs limit your connection with your loved one and impact your relationship. This self-reflection will strengthen your motivation to let go of these beliefs.

Step 3 — Choose to let go.

Make a conscious choice to release these negative beliefs. Understand that you alone can change your perception and create a new reality. It may not be an easy process, but by actively choosing to let go, you open yourself up to new possibilities and a more positive outlook. Embrace self-compassion and remind yourself that you deserve to be free from the burdens of past pain, especially in your relationship.

Step 4 — Let go of the belief.

Utilise tools and resources to guide you through releasing negative beliefs. A free worksheet is a helpful tool that will help you practically to let go of negative beliefs, feelings and actions.

Dealing with negative beliefs from past pain and hurt is a journey of transformation that requires patience, self-compassion, and perseverance.

Recognising and acknowledging these beliefs is the first crucial step towards personal growth and healing.

In our next blog post, we’ll dive into practical strategies that can help shift negative beliefs into positive ones, opening the doors to a brighter future.

Remember, you can redefine your relationship story, embrace healing, and foster meaningful connections.

Stay tuned for our upcoming blog post as we continue reshaping negative beliefs.

Until then, embrace the ongoing journey of growth and self-reflection, knowing that each step you take brings you closer to a more fulfilling and happy relationship.

Talk again soon

Belinda Pieterse — ReDefine Relationship Coach

Thank you for reading my blog post.

If you have any trouble with the worksheet, email me at belinda@redefine.coach. I will be more than happy to help you.

Have a great week and weekend.